I don’t think it’s too much to say that I’m scared.
Have you ever floated halfway between conscious thoughts and a dream, where you can see your roommate using his cellphone to guide a path through your room but can also see the cell phone’s light illuminate the face and tattooed arms of the man sitting across the subway from you in your dream?
This title is deceiving. Sorry.
What this is really about is being a young man in New York City. It’s awful. Why? Because if you are a young, decently talented, fairly good looking man, then going to New York is a obvious choice. Gotta try and use those looks and talent, right? Well shortly after moving here, I realized that every other man who is similar to me is here too. And most of them aren’t somewhat good looking like myself, they are very good looking. And they’re not just decently talented, they’re really really talented.
It’s not that getting jobs is hard or anything like that (I mean that’s true, but there’s more) even just walking around, you can be constantly crushed by everyone you see. Everyone that lives in a bigger, nicer apartment, with more defined cheek bones, a nicer body, no tattoos or don’t smoke cigarettes, can hit a high D without even thinking about it, and it really wears on you. Or at least me.
And that’s the problem with living in New York City.
“Let’s take the 4 male gay characters we’ve created and put them in an awkward love triangle!”


